I've been thinking this post over for a while. For the past year I have not made the progress I've wanted. It's been frustrating as can be.
I've starved myself, subsisting on 900 calories a day. And gained weight.
I brought my calories up after advice from a trainer. The weight just came on faster.
I've eaten "clean." And gained weight. Gave up and ate junk - with predictable results.
I've worked out 5 or 6 days a week, cardio plus weights, HIIT traning, worked with trainers, attended boot camp....and gained weight.
For at least four years, I've felt like a cell phone with a faulty charger. I did all the right things, but just couldn't get enough energy to make it through the day. Thank God I work at home, because by 2pm every day, I was all but passing out. I was exhausted. All. The. Time. I would sleep 10 hours at night, avoided early meetings like the plague, and still needed a 2 hour nap in the afternoon.
And I couldn't figure it out. I'm healthy, I ate right, I worked out, why was I so tired and why was it so difficult for me to lose weight?
20-something mothers like Maria Kang were all like "No excuses! If I can do it, you can do it!"
Well, you stupid woman, I COULD lose weight at the drop of hat when I was twenty-something with three kids. Duh. When I was 33, I was starting to look into competitive fitness training or bodybuilding competitions. All you young women, STFU and come talk to me when you're in your mid-40s and your hormones are out of whack.
I notice there are very few women in their mid-40s bragging about their fitness and weight.
Why?
Because it's so much harder! I was gaining if I freaking breathed! I was in tears day after day because I couldn't get my body to do what it had done so easily before. It shouldn't have been a problem - I remember being told over and over that I had "a glandular problem - salivary glands work too much and sweat glands not enough!"
BULLSHIT.
I finally coughed up the money for some lab work. I found a clinic that specializes in bio-identical hormone therapy. And the lab work showed that my thyroid was too low, my iron levels were in the basement (I was seriously and dangerously anemic), my testosterone was low (yes, women need testosterone), and I was insulin-resistant. My insulin levels were high and my blood glucose levels were at the very bottom of the "normal" scale. On top of all that, my cortisol levels were elevated and I was estrogen dominant.
I couldn't have lost fat no matter what I did.
And untreated, it would have led to diabetes in a few years.
Now that I'm on the proper medications, I feel a ton better. Today is Thanksgiving, and for the first time in a very long time, I've been cleaning, organizing, cooking - and I'm not exhausted after a few minutes.
I have drive and energy again.
I'm excited to see what this year brings in body changes.
No one should have to spend hours at the gym or monitor every morsel that goes into their mouths to be fit, slim, and healthy. I am so thankful that I have found out what was causing my weight gain. Going to the gym is becoming a pleasure again. And I feel like I can enjoy my meals instead of worrying about how much I'm going to gain.
