Headachy And Still Want Sweets! More on Emotional Eating (VLCD Day 2)

Yup, I'm still dealing with the emotional eating aspect.  I want to go on a monster binge - and that has nothing to do with hunger, but everything to do with sadness.  I'm still using EFT to manage the emotional process. 

Eating is such an emotional activity.  We eat when we're happy, we eat when we're sad.  We eat to celebrate (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day), and to commiserate.  We tend to eat more when we're with others (not me, though, as a binge eater I eat more alone).  Staying on a diet like this brings the emotional component of eating right up front.  I can't sit down and binge when I'm trying to lose weight, I have to feel my feelings.

Which usually isn't fun.  When I want to binge, I'm trying to fill an emotional void, which means I'm just not very happy.  I don't like being not happy, and I don't like feeling sad or blue, so I have a tendency to stuff those feelings right down.  Usually washed down with a half gallon of ice cream, eclairs, cheesecake, frosting right out the can....  Somehow salad doesn't quite work as a comfort food. 

Give me Southern fried foods, mashed potatoes loaded with gravy, and sweets any day. 

But for now, I need to forgo the comfort and remember the discipline.  I know what I want to look like.  I know what I want to feel like. 

I can do this. 

VLCD Day 1 - Filling the Emotional Void

I'm not hungry, but I want to eat.  (I bought some loading foods yesterday that I didn't finish.  I keep telling myself they will still be available when I come off the protocol.)  The emotional stress that I've been dealing with hasn't eased. 

I had 2 apples today, and a chicken breast baked in salsa and chili powder.  The recipe called for Colby Jack cheese, but I took that off mine.  (The kids liked the cheese.)  Spring greens in Walden Farms dressing on the side.  I was full when I was finished eating dinner (meat and salad) but now I want to eat everything in sight.  The sad thing is, like I said, I'm not hungry. 

It's like an emotional hole that I want to stop up with food.  I'm working on being more aware of it (hence the blogging) and I'm using EFT to manage it.  I'm going to fix myself some herbal teas and drink a few gallons of tea and/or water.  Filling up with fluids is a good thing.  I usually don't drink enough water (diet Coke doesn't count) so that's probably an issue there.

Water - I take my "refill cup" from the convenience store and fill it with ice water.  Looks like a cup of soda, I drink it through a straw, and I end up drinking a lot more water than I would otherwise.  Water is imperative any time you're trying to lose weight.  I never quite give up my diet Coke, but I cut way back and add huge amounts of water.  It helps.

Load Day 3

Yes, I know, Pounds and Inches says 2 load days.  I always do better when I do a third.  I've had so much fatty foods today, I am looking forward to healthy food tomorrow!  (Steak and salad on the menu!)  I've got apples chillin' in the fridge, plenty of salad greens, Walden Farms dressing, steaks, boneless skinless chicken breasts - yum! 

I freaked out a little when I weighed myself this morning.  But then, I had to remember that the weight gained from loading generally comes off quickly.  The fat loading is essential for rapid weight loss in the first week.  It's kind of like retaining water.  If you're retaining water, the best thing to do is ... drink more water.  I'm out to lose fat, so it makes sense to try to trick my body into believing that there is plenty of fat available.  That way, it won't try to hold on to it.

So far today I've had cheesecake, eclairs, pizza rolls, sour cream, cream cheese fruit dip.  I feel so full and kind of sick.  Here's to a rapid weight loss!

Load Day 2

I'm not sure how much loading I can stand to do.  I really feel ill from all the fats and junk food.  I'll be glad to start the protocol on Monday. 

While loading, eat as much fat as possible.  (As Americans, this should be fairly easy to do.)   Most people are actually deficient in dietary fats due to strenuous dieting and the mistaken notion that fats cause you to be fat.  Fats are required in the diet for mental strength (fats build the brain and nerves!), help with beautiful skin, prevent aging, and create hormones.  I always cringe when I see parents put young children on fat restricted diets - and I'm not sure fat-restricted diets are that good for grown ups, either.

I never eat fake fats.  No margarine, no "fat free" dairy.  Full fat butter, full fat dairy, olive oil.  The only time I restrict fats is on a temporary basis.  (Carbs are what tend to cause me to gain weight - that and emotional stresses that lead me to overeat.)

Great foods to load on?

Sour cream, cream cheese, full fat diary, ice cream, avocados, nuts and nut butters, hamburgers and fried foods (this is a good time to say goodbye to them!).  You're not after carbs so much - but fat, fat, fat! 

The whole thing is rather counterinutitive to me.  Start a diet by eating fatty foods? Loading helps control hunger as the hCG kicks in.  And it really works.  And, believe it or not, loading properly with high fat foods helps you lose more weight! 

Don't skip your load days.  I'm off to go eat some ice cream!

Load Day 1

Today is my first day back on hCG.  We had an office party for the four birthdays we have in February (Aquarius Rocks!) - cake and ice cream, a meat and cheese tray, fruit with dip.  I loaded up on ice cream and fattening dips.  Now I feel sick.

I sometimes wonder if Dr Simeons suggested this in the manner of getting a drunk to quit drinking during a hangover?  You know - right when they're sick and wailing, "I'll never drink again!"  LOL!  I'm always glad of a chance to work throught the binging at the beginning.  By the time it's time to hit the protocol, I'm thrilled to be eating clean again.

I Will Not Age Gracefully - I'm Fighting It Every Step of the Way!

For the most part, I believe in doing things with grace and ease.

Aging (and weight gain) is not one of those things.

I remember the old TV commercials where the beautiful blonde model said, "I'm not going to grow old gracefully. I intend to fight it every step of the way!"

That's my philosophy. 

My birthday was Monday.  Somewhat to my shock, I'm now 44.  

I just bought some Olay anti-aging products, I'm going back on protocol shortly, I'm drinking tons of water, and have decided that I will look young and gorgeous for as long as I can. I'm also growing my hair out longer. 

If only I had Dolly Parton's budget!  I always admired her, and I love her statement, "If I see something saggin', baggin', or draggin,' I'm having it nipped, tucked or sucked!"  (She's also known for saying, "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap."  I love Dolly.) 

And, as I said, I am going to skip the last post and start back on protocol again.  My last load day is scheduled for Monday.  I have set up my FridgeGraph account with a goal of 125 by the end of April. 

Here we go again!  :)

Discouragement

I'm having a tough time maintaining my weight loss.  The frustration is two fold - one, I kept it off easily for over a year, and two, I know I have no one to blame but myself.  No matter how good a diet is, the weight won't stay off on a regimen of sweet and highly processed comfort foods.

I am beginning to wonder if I just needed the break from the constant dieting.  I think so....

I've decided to wait till March 1 to start again, and in the meantime I plan to enjoy all the foods I cannot have (and do not want) when I'm actively dieting.  There's a caveat to this - that doesn't mean I'm going to be gorging or binging.  Just that nothing is off limits, within reason. 

My hope is that this temporary switch of diet and energy will do what switching up a workout does - confuse the body.  I'm not sure I would recommend this to just anyone - but I hope I am disciplined enough to "let it go" for a few weeks and pick things up again soon.

Protein for Alertness.

Yup, I'm going to tackle some interesting things over the next few days. 

Did you know (I didn't) that the nutrients in your food play a huge role in how well you are able to function at work?  I mean, I knew this *some*, but I just came across some information that really brought it home.

I am a night owl by nature.  My perfect workday starts at noon, with a leisurely morning.  Getting up at 8:30 is early for me.  And I tend to go to bed sometime after the wee hours of the morning.  Because of that, evidently, it is vitally important for me to have a protein rich breakfast - protein helps increase alertness.  Wow - I knew I liked my protein bar after my workout, and I prefer protein to carbs all day long (my body holds carbs right around my middle).  Morning people need their protein later in the day. 

Maybe that's why Tim can function on only 4 hours of sleep a day.  For such a calm person, he's almost frenetic with energy.  He follows a high-protein, carnivorous diet, with no potatoes (he prefers yams anyway), and very little rice or pasta. 

I need lots of sleep - 8 to 10 hours to function well - but I also tend to eat carbs if I'm not thoughtfully eating protein....